...and in the news

You gotta wonder about the state of the world when this is a front page headline in our local Florida paper:

GUNS ARE RIDING HIGH ON HOLIDAY GIFT LISTS by Drew Harwell (take note especially of the last 7 paragraphs!!)

Then...
Female whooping crane shot in Indiana - story by Barbara Behrendt The cranes are half way in their journey south to Florida...I wish them Godspeed and good luck. Pray no idiot interferes.

As for the concept of being here first...wanna know what happens to wandering gators? According to Rita Farlow’s article(St. Pete Times), trapper Charles Carpenter, who corraled a reptile on someone's patio and loaded it onto a trailer, said the gator weighed "a couple hundred pounds" and likely came from nearby Lake Tarpon.
Carpenter said he wasn't sure of the alligator's gender.
"I asked it how much it weighed and it wouldn't tell me, so it was probably a girl," he said.
Nuisance gators are "processed for their meat and hide," said commission spokesman Gary Morse. Or, as Carpenter put it: "It's headed to the restaurant prep area."

So now you’re hungry...according to this book Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer’s latest book: “On average, Americans eat the equivalent of 21,000 entire animals in a lifetime—one for every letter on the last five pages.”

Kinda turns you off, eh?

And if you’re a golfer...my bad! This article reveals he true nature of the loch Ness monster:

"In November, researchers roaming the depths of Scotland's Loch Ness in a submarine, looking for the legendary monster, reported finding mainly "hundreds of thousands" of golf balls at the bottom, from popular use of the lake as a driving range. A recent Danish Golf Association report lamented the slow decomposition of golf balls (taking 100 to 1,000 years), and one U.K. legislator has called golf balls "humanity's signature litter." [CNN, 11-10-09]

So if we can create bio-degradable tees why the heck can't we do something similar with golf balls!!???

That was an excerpt from "News of the Weird". Read more of Chuck Shepherd’s news of the weird.

And finally, someone getting the Christmas spirit a tad wrong: this article by Mike Morris of the The Atlanta Journal-Constitution describing an Elf who caused a mall evacuation...yeah, Santa's not really into bombs!

What a world!!! But there is some good news...kids and dogs still love to play. Catch this cute video from the Dec. 11/09 Bonnie Hunt show

Hit the Wall

Not proud of it but here's my wall climbing effort aboard the Monarch of the Seas. Thankfully a lady snapped these and offered to send them to me. Thank you, Sheri!

Dancing by Starlight

We have joined the Starlight Dance studio to improve our old dance steps and learn new ones. Hans & Judy are super instructors who still compete. They offer 6 nights of dancing per week plus 5 nights of instruction not including their afternoon tea dances. A friend recommended them to us and we're so glad they did. We're gradually improving our Argentine tango, swing and salsa, and then having lots of time to practice and meet new people.

The club, tucked away in Dunedin, Fl., is set up like a bistro with small tables complete with tablecloths, surrounding the dance floor which has a full mirrored wall as well. Their club includes a small boutique where you can purchase dance shoes, and outfits. Other pro's also attend their dances so people can have a taste of what it's like to dance with an expert. It's thrilling! You don't know what dancing is until Hans or Terry or Tim has you floating effortlessly around the floor.

Hans & Judy are now on Twitter and Hans maintains a blog as well. Be sure to check them out.

If you're ever inclined to trip the light fantastic, this studio is the place to be. They not only offer excellent instruction but also wonderful eclectic music and friendship. We're having a ball! Thanks, Hans and Judy!

Cruisin'...

We are no longer cruise virgins...our first time is over! But we're grateful friends convinced us to try cruising. No, I'm not talking cars; I'm talking ships! Ours was the Royal Caribbean's Monarch of the Seas and she was big enough, old enough and fun enough for us.

Our first impression was her size, the second was with how quickly and efficiently staff could process over 2400 clients onto her! The drinks start immediately upon boarding. Who could resist a nice pina colada in a blue flashing glass with an umbrella? Once on board, our friends took us on a "discover the boat" tour to orient us to the various restaurants, pools and other amenities on board.

Each night dinner was divine. The chef(s) seemed to outdo themselves every night. The menu provided insights as to what was healthy, what was low fat or no sugar. I liked their "vitality" symbol which helped me select the lower calorie offerings. Yes, Virginia; you can stick to your diet while cruising but those desserts!!! It's not easy. Even our friends who have cruised extensively were impressed with the quality and presentation of the food.

I think dinner was my favourite time of the day. We & our friends had great conversations with the two other couples at our table: two sisters and their husbands. Our waiter Vedasto was a hoot, singing, playing the guitar, playing jokes (on the two sisters, thankfully) but more importantly doing his job by giving us excellent service and advice on the evening's offerings.

The ship had two pools and two hot tubs, a gym (which I never did enter), a wall to climb, many dancefloors and show rooms, lounges, atriums, etc. The quality of the shows, their singers, dancers and musicians were also very impressive. The cruise director, a Canadian from Toronto, made sure we always had something fun to do. I even won a "guess the lyrics" contest, more from good luck than good knowledge. Who the Hell are Bananarama anyway (I'm sure my friend Pat will tell me)? If you missed a show you could catch it later on TV in your stateroom.

Yes, the stateroom was teensy but we were only in them to sleep, shower, dress so that wasn't a big deal (unless you suffered from claustrophobia).

So our agenda was like this:
Day One - orientation including what to do in case of emergency (mandatory).

Day Two - brekkie with friends then onto a tender which took us to the ship's island CocoCay where we sunned, snorkelled (marvelled at the fish) then got back for dins and a very good show. Also took in Karaoke which ran every night.

Day Three - brekkie with friends then off to tour Nassau (of which viewing Atlantis was one of the highlights), an afternoon at the Sheraton's pool plus snorkelling at their lagoon (where the fish are just a little too hungry for my liking - they were tasting ME!). Then we took a little local bus ($1.25) downtown to find the Tortuga Bakery which sells the best ever rum cakes. Ummm! Back to the ship for dins, a salsa lesson or was that the night we learned some new line dancing or was that the night I won the Guess the Lyrics contest? After a while it's all a blur and I don't keep a diary.

Day Four was spent at sea. The sun, the breeze plus we'd found a special private sun spot at the very back of the boat between two decks made the day glorious. Until the Captain announced a little boy needed to be airlifted off the upper deck. Soon, people kicked off the upper level were crawling all over us, all conjecturing (appendicitus, broken leg?). Hubby watched the air lift exercise then returned to report on how it worked. The closing show was spectacular. Every musical presentation was wonderful and we were in awe of the talent.

Day Five - normally we'd breakfast in the WindJammer, a self-serve buffet resto but on the last day, we opted to try the dining room breakfast for once. We weren't disappointed. Upon leaving the ship, we were "processed" even more quickly off than we'd been processed on. Back to reality. Back to rain!!! Back to the condo and laundry. It felt in retrospect like being a Queen and King for four days...who can beat that? But like Cinderella, the humdrum of regular life must resume although I've still got my Prince Charming to see me through!

...and in the news

American news, that is:

• One in 8 Americans is being fed via food stamps.

• Black Friday (US version of Canada's boxing day only just after their Thanksgiving) saw sales of $10.66 BILLION! No indication of how much of that was cash or credit.
  
  
• A 13 year old girl committed suicide after her "sext" to a friend was circulated throughout her school, wrote prior... "I'm what they call the inbetween. I'm not pretty enough, ugly enough, smart enough, dumb enough, good enough, bad enough, nice enough, or even mean enough." (Sexting is like texting only usually with an image of a sexual nature, i.e., nude.) How use of technology seems to enhance bullying...sad.
  
  

• Think you have a problem with "stuff"? Watch A&E this Monday @ 10pm to see if you really do have a problem!



• Poor Tiger Woods...so many jokes about his driving (his car, that is)...but if you check on Twitter, very, very few expressed any concern for the man himself. Instead they all jumped on the scandal wagon. Makes you wonder about people...whatever happened to caring...even the teensiest bit?
  

• And in the good news corner, despite it still being NOVEMBER!! & all the radio stations are cramming Christmas tunes down our throats ad nauseum, here are truly glad tidings:

Tarpon Turtle

Yesterday was the American Thanksgiving so what hungry Canadian could resist also celebrating? Off to the Tarpon Turtle for dins. I decided to forego the turkey and opted for shrimp primavera. Everyone else, hubby included, ordered the turkey, some including ham!

What a feast! Each plate had enough on it to feed two people! Beans, stuffing, potato with gravy, turkey, ham, squash, cranberries plus choice of two desserts, one pumpkin, the other apple. Some of us jumped at the chance to taste their wonderful key lime pie, certainly not a disappointment.

The Tarpon Turtle is located on the north end of Lake Tarpon and offers a marvelous view from its dock. We chose to sit inside as it was a little chilly last night. The server was very attentive and the food tasted great. Meal cost was in the $70 range for two, that is, if you also had wine. We had a marvelous time and headed home more stuffed than the turkey had been.

Regrettably, I didn't fare too well later as my discomfort moved from that of mildly full to awfully sick. Might have been the shrimp, or something else - who knows? But hubby wasn't sick nor were any of the others so I surmise something I'd eaten strongly disagreed with me. It happens. I'm a-ok now but I'll call the restaurant tomorrow to let them know.

Still, it was a very nice evening in a very nice location, not far from home. Guess you have to chalk it up to "you win some, you lose some."

Mortgage Hunting

We've pretty much made up our minds to go for the fixer upper! But that means, apart from our down payment, finding a bank to lend us the difference. So...what do we learn?

Bankers down here are very nervous. And given the recession, rightly so. First question:

• are you American? No.
• do you have a social insurance number? Yes, but it's a Canadian SIN.
• what type of house are you buying? We're interested in a condo.

Well, that won't do! Doesn't matter what your assets, what your credit history, what your down payment, we don't want to touch you.

Many investors (speculators) have dropped their investments and left the banks hanging. Banks are particulately not interested in mortgaging condos (which is what we're trying to buy) because condos are in a bad position given the incidence of foreclosures and a lack of condo owners paying monthly condo fees. The whole structure is in a downward spiral.

So, right now attitude is key. Are we positive, forward-looking people or pessimists? Well, I'd like to think we're the former so damn the torpedos, full speed ahead.

On the plus side, we're not investors per se. We're not looking to make money, only to have a second home, a home-away-from-home, one we plan on living in for repeating six months stints over the next umpteen years, God willing.

We'll keep you posted on our progress. In the meantime, other condo offerings just keep coming our way. Just this minute, a friend called to say her next-door neighbour is selling her upper floor unit. Would we like to look?

Decisions, decisions.

The Dilemma Begins Again!

Yet again, I have real estate fever. Several options have presented themselves:

1. a fixer upper which we could reno, live in and eventually flip (means sweat equity and lots of it!) but then we could more easily obtain a nice place on the water; or
2. an all-done walk-in-with-your-toothbrush & on the water place (means a mortgage and lots of it).
3. do nothing and stick with our rental
4. look around to see if there are other bargains...

Decisions, decisions!

When you have too many decisions and it's hurting your head, whaddya do? Go dancing. Having a great time dancing at the Starlight Studio in Dunedin...wish you were here.

Fall 2009

Readers, I've taken a short sabbatical from writing over the summer. Not from a lack of things to say (I've always got something to say) but just a kind of ennui with the whole thing. But many readers -- OK, four -- have prompted me to get back at it, so here I am.



Fall is definitely here when you hear the kabang of nuts falling on the tin roof of the neighbour's shed. It's also fall when in the dark of an evening's hot tub you hear the raccoon family munching on said nuts. It's ducking as the local jet fighters, better known as humming birds, caroom crazily over your head, protecting their turf, chittering frantically in their eensey weensey tiny bird voices. It's here when you look across the lake and discern burgundy amongst the green leaves. It's here when you sense the need to cram in as many golf games as you can since the good weather can't possibly last. Fall is pulling out gone-to-seed radishes from your garden, sharing oodles of cucumbers, tomatoes and zucchini with friends and praying the geraniums still have more bloom time. It's no longer back-to-school for us although I do intend to go back to piano lessons, yoga lessons and to following Canada's Food Guide. So many good intentions, it almost feels like New Year's. It's a time of warm days and cool nights and the breezes hold a hint of chill, just enough to want a sweater. Yes, it's Fall.

Playing Catch-up

I've been remiss, dear reader, in not keeping up! So...here's an update:

• Unhappily, something got the baby robins. We found baby-sized feathers on the lawn. Not a beak or a claw was left. We can only hope at least one escaped the massacre. Mother Nature can be so cruel. They were so close to fledging. My heart breaks.
• We've painted the deck. Yes, my darling. Blue again.
• The perennials are doing their thing so I've added some annuals. Ye olde garden is looking pretty good. Now to tackle the veggie garden.
• Dear friend T visited last week from BC. What a girl. We had our fill of girlie talk, catching up on years apart. Funny, we haven't changed a bit. We miss her already but she tells me she and her special man are making a road trip here next summer. Yes!
• I have a new project underway: a neat flag hung between the two birches which, unfortunately have died. Surely we can resurrect them as works of art? Only Rona can say (the flag I want is one of Rona's display flags).
• My sister L's concert was excellent. Check out the Capital Chordettes if you ever get a chance and certainly the men's quartet Real Time. They were professional level and the best I've ever heard. What a show!
• Golf is taking a back seat for the moment but I promise to tell you about my last but best game soon.
• Gotta go hot tub...catch ya later!

Can do, Condo?

I realize I've left you hanging re the long sad condo story. So, to set the record straight, here's an update:

We didn't buy the condo we fell in love with because:
a) the Florida seller wanted to close June 1; and
b) we didn't have a firm date on the closing date of our own sale in Ottawa; and
c) we didn't want to take on bridge financing as that could have potentially had us on the hook for 3 places: the condo we're selling, the condo we were trying to buy and our own home in Ontario.

As you know, God opens a window when he closes a door. We met Mrs. L. who is trying to swap her upper condo (in the same Florida project) for the lower condo underneath her's. We suggested that rather than do a swap with her lower neighbour (he'd been reluctant to do the swap then try to sell her upper - confused yet?), we would offer to buy her upper so she could buy her neighbour's lower unit. So, long story short: now we wait to find out if Mrs. L. is successful. Her unit is lovely, in great shape and has water view from both front and back. Plus it'll come partially furnished!

If Mrs. L. isn't successful, no worries. We hope this fall we can re-rent the unit we had. Time will tell. In the meantime, it's so nice to be home although our backs are aching as we weed, weed, weed! Once the weeding is done, then the spring planting starts, then the spring spruce up begins (painting, painting, painting) then back to a little golf...that is: if we remember how and our bodies cooperate! Hubby better get that hot tub up and running soon!

So, no. We are NOT the owners of a new condo but ya never know....

I was missed!

Now I know why people so love dogs. It’s because the dogs so love them.

I learned this upon our return from the south. One of my first visits was to the owners of the dog I walk: Spencer’s people. I was a little disappointed. Spencer, himself, was out being walked by Mrs. C’s daughter so we sat and chatted, awaiting his return.

Eventually, in comes Himself, feeling happy and cocky after a satisfying walk. Ever polite, he trots up to acknowledge his master, nudges his mistress then he sits and looks at me. There’s a little pause, maybe 3 seconds. Then…he explodes! He’s like a dog with an interior firecracker! He jumps, and barks, and sniffs, and spits, and licks, and wags, and wiggles and wildly cavorts on me, off me, at me! We laugh just as wildly at his antics.

To put it in Mrs. C’s words: “Well, I guess he knows who you are!”

It was nice to be missed if only by my little four-footed friend and wonderful to see how a dog can show you how much you were missed.

Mother Nature at Work...

We are welcomed home by a new arrival: a spring robin has made her nest over the living room window which also faces our deck. So, to enter the house, we’re disturbing the robin. I promptly put up a sign: Ssh! Robin on nest. Use garage entry.

Everyone is very respectful.

Ms Robin sits dutifully on a clutch of who knows how many eggs. Periodically, she flies off but always faithfully returns. One day we are rewarded with the view of not one, not two but FOUR bald little heads -- beaks open wide, on scrawny bare-skinned necks -- wobbling to and fro they look for all the world like little flowers swaying in unison in the breeze.

It amazes me Mother Robin is so diligent. What is it drives her to feed those hungry, demanding mouths? How does she remember where the babies are? Sometimes we worry when she stays away too long but sure enough, one more look and there she is. Standing on the nest edge, filling beak after beak, with still wriggling worms.

The nest is very full and we wonder how everyone will fit in once they grow a little. Someone might have to move out on the ledge. The good news is, once they try flying, the deck isn’t too far a fall.

We hope as we shiver under our own covers on cold nights, that mother is keeping them warm under her rusty feather breast.

Mother Robin’s steadfastness and the babies’ fragility touch me. Watching Mother Nature at work, I can only hope She’ll let this little mother succeed so these four little robins survive and thrive.

We're no longer in Florida, Toto

Leaving any place is hard for me. I’m the type of person who is usually always in the present: I am where I am. But Friday morning sees us up early, packing last minute things, moving odds ‘n sods upstairs to our wonderful American neighbours who have graciously offered to store things for us for the summer. We do last minute cleaning, turn off the water, snap off the power to the hot water tank. Lock up. Squeeze in a few more last minute good-byes, then head up Hwy 19 to find the Shelter, where our donation of foodstuffs from the fridge is gratefully received.

We head north, then east across the top of Florida, then north again, our car so loaded we feel like a two-headed turtle, our house on our back. The divides between the highways here are filled with masses of fuschia pink flowers, miles of them. We see a poor little armadillo – lying on his back in a pose of total submission, feet up – his armour not strong enough to save him from the car that hit him. We pass stall after stall of boiled peanut sellers. They’re irresistible to me but hubby keeps driving. No room in the car, he says. Plenty of room in my stomach, I think. Then through farmland – peanut farmers. Past the Goethe State Park whose tall looming trees remind us of a park we’d seen in south western Australia.

Into Georgia, we follow the 26 into Columbia where we decide to spend the night. We pass an accident - a snatch of a scene – a young lady rubbing her hands up and down the arms of a small boy, his chin on his chest; a white car roof just visible down a ravine, people milling about. Soon, ambulances pass us going to their aid. It’s a sombre reminder how quickly things can go wrong.

Registered at the Days Inn, we walk down the street for the exercise to dins at Chick-Fil-A, a fast food franchise we’ve never been to before. Their advertising campaign is what tickles me: a cow in business-man attire holding a placard that says “Eat chikin”. Hubby tips the order taker (it’s like a McDo’s). She doesn’t notice until we’re seated. She comes to our table, money in hand: “You forgot your change.” She’s pleased when we say “It’s for you.” We surmise people don’t tip in these places.

We can’t get wi-fi in our hotel room but no matter. A little tv, a hot shower and a delightfully soft bed and we’re off to dreamland. In the morning, I notice hubby has stashed the camera under the tv stand (ever security conscious); I stash it in my purse.

Breakfast is at Shoney’s across the street, a buffet of different southern foods: crispy pork rinds, grits, strawberry-glazed bananas, the ubiquitous (tea) biscuits, a strange breaded hamburger thing, chicken nuggets, salads, and the usual other brekkie foods. We are the racial minority in this Shoney’s we notice. We can hardly understand our waitress but we are well served and leave stuffed.

The geography shifts as we enter South Carolina on the I-77. Gone are Georgia’s tidal flats and rivers, replaced by mountainous ridges and vertiginous valleys. The flowers in the highway divides are just as multitudinous as Florida’s but now they appear to be bright red poppies waving us along. Spring has definitely sprung here: I see lilacs, wild cherry and other flowering shrubs in full bloom – purples, pinks and whites. Winter’s dead grasses are turning emerald green and the trees, leaves unfurling in the warm spring sun, are a steady mural of every green under the sun. Seen from afar they look like a coverlet of densely-packed broccoli, softening the contours of the mountain ridges.

This be deer country; we see the odd warning sign not to mention carcasses. The temp has dropped from 30 to 20 – it’s cooler in the mountains and cloudy. But the vistas make us rubber-neck: black and white Jerseys ly peacefullydotting lush meadows; tiny farms interspersed on massive green fields, the odd one littered with old junkers; whole counties spread like real live google maps before us, tiny hamlets like toy villages. We’ve definitely left the tropical feel behind. No palm trees here.

I ask hubby about the camera; did he pick it up? No answer. Either he didn’t hear me or he’s trying to remember. An hour later, he confesses quietly: “I left the camera under the tv; we better turn around.” I can’t help but laugh out loud as I in turn make my confession, “It’s in my purse.” Such are the moments in a marriage.

The state of Virginia has an interesting sign that says: Buckle up, Virginia. It’s a law we can live with. I like that!

Two mountain ranges keep us company on either side of us for a long distance. We enter the Shenandoah Valley, Pennsylvania, looking for both an Econolodge and an Applebee’s but when we find them in proximity, it seems too early to stop. We carry on to a little hole in the wall place: Pine Grove but it has an Econolodge and a restaurant with good home cookin’ called Gooseberry’s.

Our night isn’t the best however: we have amourous neighbours. In all our travels, we’ve never encountered this problem but a problem it is. There’s a locked connecting door between our rooms – perhaps that’s why their ardour is so audible. We keep the volume up on the tv but eventually must turn it off to sleep. We consider changing rooms but thinking they’ll stop eventually, fall asleep to the sounds of their obviously intense coupling. 4:09 am, they’re at it again. Hard to believe. Ever analytical, the variety of ohhs, and ahhhhs, lead me to believe there must be two couples or maybe two women, one man. Whoever it is has the stamina of athletes as they are not soon silent. We’re glad to be quit of that place but as we drive away, we conclude maybe our neighbours were watching pornos with the sound up too loud! We'll never know.

We drive along under grey skies and rain. The temp is 50 degrees. Gradually, the fauna changes as we travel. It’s like going back in time or experiencing a season reversal: in Florida, it was summery, like July, flowers and greenery everywhere. In the middle states, it’s like June with blossoms everywhere, little spots of white, pink or purple amongst the unfolding green leaves. Here in Pennsylvania, it’s truly May. The trees have not yet budded, some still wear last year’s rusty leaves. The grass is greening but winter’s wear is still evident.

We discuss stopping to golf at Malone but the weather and the cost doesn’t encourage us so we opt to head directly home, checking via internet first to see what value we’re permitted to declare to Canada Border Services. Yes, with any thought of entering Canada, one must first think of the government and maintaining good relations. We breeze through after confessing to spending most of our money on golf. I think the young CBS agent has a soft spot for us after that confession, seeing as how he's confined to his little box questioning returning holidayers. Must be an awful job.

And now we’re home! Yeah, Canada!!!!!

Last Night

It’s our last night; we repose in the hot tub at dusk. We have the pool area totally to ourselves. The sky is pink, no stars out yet. The birds on the point are doing their dusk toilette, each group separately splunking their heads and bodies in the water, fluttering their wings, then settling down to groom their feathers.

We spy 3 little boys scooching under the large gazebo party room that protrudes into the lagoon. They all look younger than 11, dressed in sloppy tees, shorts and sneakers, the uniform of kids everywhere. They remind me of the boys in Stephen Kings “Stand by Me.” They’re sneaking along the grassy bank when one strawberry blonde head pops up; he makes eye contact with hubby, ducks, then slowly stands, knowing he’s been made. “Hello,” he says. “We’re just lookin’ for shells,” he says apologetically, shyly. I think to myself, he’s been caught at this before. I also know there’s no shells to be found around this lagoon; clam shells, maybe. His bigger dark-haired friend asks enthusiastically, making good eye contact (not shy, this one) “Can we hot tub too?” The third, the littlest blond, says nothing replying on the first speaker who looks to be his older brother.

In that instant, we’re faced with choices all “for their own good”:
· Reprimand them and send them on their way, remind them this is private property and they’re not supposed to be here. (We’re well aware the condo board is contemplating gating the entire community, a move we are against should we ever own here.)
· Tell them no children are allowed in the pool or hot tub without their parents.
· Warn them to stay away from the water; there might be alligators in there that would find a little boy a tasty morsel.
· Do nothing.

I well remember what it’s like to be a kid, to be in a place you’re not supposed or allowed to be, the fear of adults, of being caught. I well remember looking for stuff along the river’s edge, the adventure of it all. And that is my undoing. I don’t do the responsible adult thing, nor does my husband. We all pretend they might actually belong in the complex when I say “You can’t come into the hot tub without your parents. Are your parents around?” Knowing full well their parents are likely many blocks away and totally unaware of these kids’ whereabouts. “Nahhh,” says the biggest boy, and they slowly edge away toward a fence overwhelmed in white honeysuckle, where they stop, remove their sneakers and duck through a boy-sized hole in the fence barely visible through the honeysuckle camouflage. We watch them meander around the lagoon, round the point and go out of sight.

Hubby says, “I’ll bet those kids have done that a thousand times.” I worry that I’ve failed them. I should have done the adult thing: walked them safely out through the gate. What if something happens to them? Too late now.

Once home, we’re busy cleaning out cupboards, packing. It’s now dark but through the open door I hear boys’ voices. “Hey guys!” I shout out the screened patio door. I go out. Not a boy to be seen. But they’ve heard me. They reappear around the corner of the carport. Quietly,“Yes, ma’am?”
I usher them into the kitchen. Can your families use some groceries, I ask. More scuffling of feet and shy replies. I show them what’s in the bags I’ve filled. Rice, Gatorade mix, Quik, jello, rice, spaghetti and so on. The biggest boy takes the two bags, hefts them. I could take the Gatorade and the Quik he says, his self-interest obvious. Couldn’t you use it all? I persist wanting to unload these goods, thinking times are tough and anyone would be glad of a few free groceries but of course of our own self-interest: it’s shameful to waste. But, ma’am. Do you know where Wendy’s is? (I don’t.) Well, I gotta walk all that way home. These bags are too heavy. But my mom’s on foodstamps...his voice dies away.

I briefly consider driving them home. Not a wise move – I’ve made enough mistakes for one night. Well, I tell him, you guys take what you can carry, ok? Ok. One spots the golf balls hubby has accumulated in an egg tray. “Golfballs!” he oogles them like he’s spotted gold. I give him some making him promise not to throw them at anyone or anything, particularly windows, wondering at the same time if I’m contributing to juvenile delinquency. I’m such a worry wart. He solemnly promises.
They shuffle out the door, laden with their bags, into the darkening night. Hubby misses this whole exchange as, wonderful husband that he is, he was vacuuming the bedroom rug.


I feel relieved. Relieved that they’re all ok. That they’re on their way home. That everything turned out ok. That we didn’t fail them after all.
************************************************************
But back to the gator thing. It’s a very real consideration down here. People have often told us of the gator that used to live in the lagoon. It got so big, they had to call the gator handlers (whoever they are). A. Tells me they arrived in a boat, put a dead chicken on a line into the water and before long, along comes Mr Gator looking for his chicken dinner. They noosed him, hauled him into the boat, duct taped his dangerous jaw, then hog-tied (well, gator-tied) him, and boom, they were gone. Whole thing took 15 minutes, A. said. She didn’t know what the handlers did with him after that. A gator farm? The abbatoir (for one can order gator steaks down here)? She didn’t know.

The Lady Lakers (the condo’s group of women golfers) also told me of a big ole gator who resided at Forest Hill Golf Course where they golfed. Ya never had to worry about him, they said. Biggest gator they’d ever seen, they said. He’d been a resident of the golf course for years when someone up and killed him. Everyone was sorry for his loss. They still talk about him; I think they miss him.

Shortly before we leave, the talk around the condo project is the 8-foot gator found sleeping under a demo car at the Toyoto dealership which is just one street over from us. Turns out a lady went to take a spin on a car only to find the gator taking a snooze. Coulda been a real ankle-biter, I thought, imagining the lady’s foot and ankle from the gator’s perspective. I hope he was facing the other way. Anyway, she discovered him before he discovered her, thank Heavens! The Toyota dealership got some free publicity – good or bad – it’s still good publicity when your dealership name is plastered across the news. I guess the gator got rustled up by the gator handlers, and the lady, no doubt, needed a valium. And I can’t speak for others in the condo project, but I’m a lot more careful when we trot down to the hot tub at night. You just never know....

Now I'm sorry I've written this as I'll never get my dear gator-fearing sister-in-law to come down to visit again!

What I'll miss

Today is our daughter's birthday. Happy Birthday, dear E-L-T!!!

Our time in Florida is coming to a close. I'll miss

• the morning sun shining into the living and dining rooms
• exercising with the girls in the pool every morning at 10am
• the geckos racing before our feet as we walk the path to our door
• H & M greeting us every day and being such helpful friends
• the many other friends we've made here
• the gym, the pool, the library
• our dance instructors, Grace and Burt
• how people sell papers and Heaven knows what else at the intersections
• Starz, where we've found The Most Delicious Breakfasts!
• the guys we golf with
• wearing my bathing suit every day
• hot tubbing every evening
• dancing whenever we want to
• watching the amazing bird life (eagles, ospreys, cranes, ducks of every hued feather) which abounds here...

and the list goes on. But we've so much to look forward to cuz you know the saying, "There's no place like home!"

Chromax - I'm in love!

One falls in love with people, places, animals and things. And sometimes it happens without you even being fully aware. My current attraction started in a golf game. We were playing River Ridge, me having a great game, Tess not so much because it's a very short tight and tough course and he's a long, sometimes wild, hitter. We join up with 2 guys on the front who leave us after nine holes. We proceed to hole 10 where we're joined by another couple, Maxine and Bob. They play much like we do and we enjoy their company. I notice her ball.

Now normally golf balls do not attract me in any way shape or form. They're round, dimpled, more or less all the same size, sometimes coloured but mostly white. All are touted to go further and straighter than the rest. But Maxine's ball...well, it shone. It was pink, and shiney reflecting the sun, and looked exactly like a glass ball fallen off a Christmas tree. It looked like an irridescent jewel lying there on the green. I had to ask.

What kind of ball is that? Where did you get it? Does it play like other balls? How does it feel?

Maxine was pretty pleased with her ball (her husband, less so. Men seem to be traditionalists when it comes to golf balls; women experiment). It's a Chromax ball, she said. She answers the rest of my questions. When I get home I do a little research.

Turns out the Chromax ball has a very unique metallic finish which stands out from the usual line of balls. Take a look at this ball: http://www.chromaxgolf.com/product.php and simply click on the colour of the small balls to see it bigger. Truthfully, the picture doesn't do it justice. But on a sunny day, sitting on a tee....wow! It's a thing of beauty, all glitter and bling!

Chromax says they launched this ball in 2007 at the annual PGA Golf show in Orlando. "We love the traditions of golf but wanted something a little different. We love colored golf balls. However, more than just a golf ball with color, we wanted something that would really enhance the game of golf. What we came up with was Chromax golf balls. The Chromax golf ball has a metallic layer that reflects sunlight like a mirror and its elegant colors add a little character. Easy to see and beautiful to look at. That's what we were after. Of course, we also made sure it's UGSA tournament legal because we don't want to change the game. We just want to make it a little more fun."


Now there's a company I could invest in and will, by buying a set of these balls.


Addendum: We didn't find any balls at the store Maxine recommended. Sold out, the guy said. We tried the Flea Market golf stall. Sold out, that guy said, adding, he feels guilty charging that much for golf balls ($19.95 for 6 balls) when people are just going to lose 'em anyway. I advised him it's primarily women who'd buy a ball like that and women are notoriously straight shooters who know to drop old balls down when they have to hit over water, so it's likely they won't be losing their Chromax's any time soon. He laughed.

So, we can buy online or keep our eyes open at any golf shops. Happy golfing, y'all!

Kay Ryan - US Poet Laureate

Sometimes those pop-ups you see on certain web pages come in handy, for that is how I found Kay Ryan, US Poet Laureate. Kay would be reading at the University of Southern Florida in Tampa, a mere 40 minute drive away on Wednesday night. We have 2 choices, I tell my husband: go dancing or go listen to Ms Ryan. After all, how often would we have the chance to hear a US Poet Laureate ? Surprisingly, he chooses the poet reading. And I think to myself: this guy really loves me. Or maybe he'd simply rather drive than dance but I'm not so sure that's true.



We head off to USF but, of course, we never truly follow Nuvi, our wonderful little Garmin navigator. Let's try this road, we say, then Nuvi takes us on one hell of a cross-country tour. We see places we've never seen before but it's going to be touch and go. Finally finding USF's campus, we find a parking spot, should pay for parking at a machine but we don't have change, we're late, we rush in. Everyone is seated in the Traditions Hall of the Gibbons Alumni Centre, a large welcoming room whose moveable air walls have fully opened the 3 sections which are filled with people of every age: many students, many mature people, many children; and people of every hue and tone. Obviously poets appeal to everyone. Some eyes watch us as we seat ourselves, even Kay Ryan herself sees us for we are in that embarassingly conspicuous state: late! and having to take seats near the front.



Kay Ryan is a diminutive woman or maybe it's just the lectern in front of her that makes her appear so. Her photo makes her look mannish. But in person she isn't. She sports elegant but casual clothes: I like her blood red sandals, and look at her toes. She reads us selected poems she's written, sometimes several times over to ensure we "get it." She explains. She backtracks. She backfills. She asks us to think. Her words move us. she spills water on her poetry. Laughs. She touches our hearts. People oohh and ahhh as her words bounce off the timpani of their ears, brains, souls. And all too soon, it is over. The evening has passed and I'm left with snippets of phrases and images never before imagined. Behind us, as we rise to leave, a young black boy about 12 proudly discusses with his family the question he was brave enough to pose. Kay Ryan withdraws to another area where she will sign her books and speak to her public. I'd like to buy one or more books but...



It's late, and the line-up is long, and I'm shy. What would I say? And hubby is tired and has had enough. We hurry into the night's dark heat, towards our car but before reaching it, my heart plummets when he announces he's can't find the car keys. Has lost the car keys. Stay calm, I say. I envisage calling a lock smith. Hubby envisages renting a car to retrieve our keys at home (I hadn't brought my purse in which the spare keys reside).



We retrace our steps slowly intently searching. We question the organizer about lost keys and lost and found. He takes us to the administrator, a burly and very kind African-American man who walks with us, small flashlight in hand, to help us find the keys. Nothing. I leave the men searching around the car and walk again to the parking meter, where we'd been stymied but hurried upon arriving. There not 3 feet from the meter are our keys! Thank God! We shake the administrator's hand and thank him for his helpfulness. And drive off into the Florida night...grateful, grateful, grateful in more ways than one.



To read some of Kay Ryan's poetry, simply google her name. I like this one about a turtle: http://www.loc.gov/poetry/180/083.html which is on a site that offers American high schoolers a poem a day. Not a bad thing to add to your favourites. Kay plays with clichés. I think I'll try it.



Here's my poem, a tribute to Kay Ryan:



Kay Ryan addresses us not in a dress
but footloose and fancy free - free spirit she.
She turns clichés on their heads and we see
light at the end of the tunnel as black as the ace of spades.

We taste her bitter with sweet ideas
She won't call a spade, a "spayed".
She makes it plain and clear that word play
is the cat's pyjamas
Yeah. The fur goes against the grain
of our brain.
She makes us hold our horses
(when we think we already know exactly what she means)
and laughs, giving us the bum's rush.
Her rare bits don't come out of a hat but
act like eager beavers
playing fast and loose
...up to their necks in allegories.

Condo-lences

Where did I leave off? Ah yes. Wednesday. Which saw our realtor, A, showing us four places, identical layouts as in Beacon Lakes but in another area: Beacon Woods. The first was lovely: excellent shape, private, overlooking a par 3 (golf course), no furniture. I'm excited. Condo 2 - nope. Condo 3, possibilities: an older couple leaving Florida. It's the same layout, pool/club house across the road, great shape, furniture negotiable...umm. And last, a little end unit beautifully furnished, top of the line modern but no view. Too small.

I'm thinking hard about condo 1, as we hot tub under the palms that night. we love the pool area here; it's its most attractive feature as its situated next to the canal and lagoon filled with birds (allow me to digress: did I tell you about the night we were soaking when a big heron walked up the bank, not 6 feet from us with a fish sideways in her beak? She expertly flipped the fish around, despite its wriggling, til it was head down then she swallowed...several times. We watched the form of the still wriggling fish slalom down her beautiful serpentine neck. She turned and left us to fish some more, the mallard pair nervously waddling out of her way.) Back to business...

On the other hand, Beacon Woods has its own pool, hot tub, clubhouse plus many paved walkways throughout the community, a community civic centre (tennis!), a golf course (pricey!) and lower condo fees (no flood plain insurance but that's another story). We could get condo 1 for under $64K; we let all that percolate.

Back to the estate condo: I've found the name of a realtor who handled that particular file. I email her explaining our dilemma. She eventually replies she's willing to help but in the meantime, 3 things have happened:

• Thursday:, we re-opened discussions with the owner of the condo we thought we couldn't afford in the hopes she'll come down. We arrange to re-view it Saturday.
• Friday am: we're on our way to the Hard Rock Casino/Hotel. Our landlord is now willing to rent to us for another year should his condo (which we're in) not sell;
• Friday pm: the realtor - after having listened to me whine about the landlord's condo...poor shape, its worse location and its old furniture - negotiated a fine deal with our landlord - everything including the kitchen sink for well under $50K!
• Saturday am: we start the dream anew when pricey condo owner budges and actually negotiates! We're $5K apart on coming to a deal.

We drop the dream of getting the estate condo and I email the realtor: thanks but now too late. We give up on the idea of condo1 at Beacon Woods - wrong ambience. But now we've got 2 verbal deals on our hands: one, our somewhat pricey dream condo with no furniture; the other, a wonderful price, furnished but a handyman special and neither one of us is particularly handy. Both condos in Beacon Lakes where we want to be. We have to say "sorry" to someone. Who will it be?

Two dilemmas remain: what to do with the 9 piece rattan living room set we bought as our seller isn't ready yet to vacate the premises, and now we'll need more furniture as our dream place is unfurnished.

It's amazing how the world works to solve your problems...we're playing cards with our neighbours, discussing all of this, when H tells us that the people next door are getting rid of all their mother's furniture (she died about a month ago) and they'd likely gladly sell it to us otherwise it's going to good will. So, today, we'll call on them to confirm that and to check out the furniture. Funny how things have a way of working out. Next is a call to the U-Store-It place to make arrangements for 6-month storage, and a call to Two-Men-&-A-Truck. And you thought we were simply sitting around the pool down here!!!!

Again, I gotta go. E, my librarian friend, is replacing her minister at the nearby Presbyterian church so hubby and I are going to go listen to her preach. That there's a 15 minute hymn-sing before the service is icing on the cake - you know how I love to sing. Plus we've never been to a Presbyterian church before. Of course, ever the staunch Catholic, hubby is attending mass at his church first! It all makes me smile. Hope you're smiling too!

Condo-condo, condo-condo!

(sung to the tune of Quando, Quando)...the saga continues! I pluck up my courage and call the deceased owner's girlfriend in Massachusetts. Yes, I have the nerve of a tyranasaurus rex! She's very obliging and gives me much info including the actual owner/inheritor's phone number in Argentina AND a lovely description of the interior of the condo. It sounds perfect. But.



There's always a but, isn't there? The phone number when compared to those in the Argentinian white pages simply does not compute. I'd already contacted a translator who would translate my offer to the Spanish-speaking owner but now I'm hesitating. Why waste time and money only to get a wrong number? I've also contacted the lawyer's office again. Sorry, A. is still out at lunch. Out to lunch all right! I'm about ready to give up on this one. All the signs say no go....so why am I so determined!!!!!!??????



On a more positive front, my librarian friend thinks her upstairs neighbour is about ready to sell so we're invited over there for a "maybe viewing" tonight. Also, sadly, another resident just died, so (though this sounds sooo ghoulish) there is also that possibility of a sale. It matters what we buy, not when we buy but we do want to view these places now while we're down here as we can proceed with the sale once we return up north. It's just the viewings that seem hard to peg down around here!



So I'm into my "let go and let God" mode, and not holding my breath. Let's see what happens next!

Easter 2009: Resurrection & Renewal

This Easter finds us far from family and friends yet we stick to established patterns, one of which is attending Easter mass. I attend with my husband for, though I am not Catholic nor of any particularly strong faith, I find this particular mass rekindles in me that sense of renewal inherent to Spring and the many ways resurrection and renewal can occur.



Of course, the church we went to was new to me; on the surface, rich-looking!) (I wondered what Jesus would think!) but filled with regular joes and josephines faithfully attending to the priest's words. He spoke with a heavy Spanish accent but most of what he said was understandable. I particularly liked his analogy of rolling back the heavy stones in our hearts (as was done at Jesus's tomb), and gave that idea some thought.



I, like my mother, love to sing hymns so I much enjoyed following the lead of the disembodied singer/organist who couldn't be seen (at least from my vantage point) behind the organ but whose voice was lovely and light. I could have been at a service anywhere in the world which is what I guess is nice about catholism: its uniformity. No surprises. Well, ok. One surprise. As the theme is resurrection, we recited the words of baptism (me following in a book) and the priest walked throughout the church, annointing us with a sprinkling mace-like thing from the aisle. As it's a big church, he had to hurry. No one put up an umbrella.



Back home, I stopped to put away some library books (my new job) and came across this book which I read just this afternoon: The Shack by Wm Paul Young. If you believe in God, you know He works in mysterious ways still, I thought it odd that I should stumble across a book on a day when I was consciously thinking of rolling back the hard places in my heart, and this book addresses this very idea and more.



Whether your struggles be with faith, acceptance, forgiveness, hatred, fear, or trust, I suggest you try reading this book. Take from it what you will but trust me: you're sure to take something. And...it might help roll away that stone in your heart.

Condo hunt continues...

No Easter egg hunting for us! We're still condo-hunting and the plot thickens. I found a friend of the former owner and asked if he knew anything about "the key". It almost sounded like he had it but then he said the person who had it was out of state which flies in the face of what the paralegal said "We're waiting for his friend to drop it off." Friend said it would take up to a couple of weeks to get. I told him we'd already waited a couple of weeks! He also thought the locks had been changed but guessed not when I said the condo board had gained access to do the inspection for termites. Long story, short: still no key, no lookee!

This whole thing is really fishy. My persistence and determination are wavering. Is it worth all this aggravation to get a key, see the place then determine after all this that it's either too expensive, not to our liking or best case, exactly what we want? Thank heavens it's Sunday. I'm forced to cool my jets, rethink our situation. Maybe we should stick with the condo we're in despite it all. Decisions, decisions!

More on the Condo hunt...

We snoozed...we loozed. The condo search is intensifying as we only have a few weeks left to actually look. We made an offer on the expensive condo and were turned down. The owner would not negotiate at all. The next on our list, sold the day I was to call the owner. The bug house is still available but in the meantime we found an unadvertised condo.

It's on the 2nd floor, on the water, close to the clubhouse and all its amenities and has the layout we prefer. But it's an estate sale. The owner lives in Argentina! We're dealing with staff in a lawyer's office who aren't exactly helpful. First, they were surprised we knew of the sale. Wanted to know how we knew about it. Then they asked what we were offering (without us even having seen the interior!) When I asked for a key to view it or to have a showing, we were delayed 2 weeks and are still in limbo.The reason? The deceased owner's "friend" hasn't delivered the key! Have they never heard of a courier? Heavens, we'd even drive over to pick up the key. Just let us look at the darn thing then we'll negotiate! The condo board here has the key but can use it only in emergencies so this is not an emergency.

Ever resourceful, I've thought of a couple of things:

• offer to pick up the key or pay for the courier (pending Tuesday after Easter)
• call the former owner's friend (number was given to me by a friend - yes, people are helpful here)
• call the current owner (yes, managed to find 12 phone numbers for someone of that name in Argentina but we would have to hire a Spanish translator as she doesn't speak English)
• just give up on it, which is what I'm beginning to think the lawyer's office wants!

So, time will tell. We could still make an offer on the place we're currently in but...you don't get many chances to have what you really want so we're making the supreme effort. Stay tuned for our continuing challenge....

Dilemmas

Today is our 39th wedding anniversary. We'll be entertaining some friends for dinner. The menu? Alphabetically: asparagus, coleslaw, cornbread, garlic/rosemary potato fingers, ribs and cheap red wine. Dessert? Who knows what M is bringing but it's bound to be good!

Last night we played cards with 2 couples: one in their 80's, the others in their 90's. Amazingly sharp people. Now I have new role models! Both couples have been married longer than I've been alive. It gives one pause. Also puts into perspective our 39 years together, and gives me hope we'll have 39 more! After all, I'd only be 96 then! It's wonderful to see how these couples treat each other...he looking over her hand of cards, could see a play which she couldn't. He gently encouraged her "You can do better than that....keep looking" while not giving anything away. She persisted, then saw the play. They shared a special glance, and a smile.

*************

Hubby's just waking up. I'd better slip on my swimsuit for the inpool exercise class (which I've been meaning to join, like forever, but never got there until today!). So...gotta run! But...

in honour of our anniversary, give that special man or woman in your life a nice firm hug, a long soft kiss and a deep meaningful gaze. These moments matter. They really do.

Decorating with Plates

I have a penchant for filling walls with things, you name it: paintings, wall hangings, plates, musical instruments, birdhouses, masks. When I get home, I'll post some pix of what I throw up there in an effort to reveal the inner me whilst simply aesthetically pleasing myself (and, I hope, others) immeasurably.

The nice thing is: I'm not alone. This blogger "The English Muse" does it too. And this website gives some excellent ideas too. What are YOU waiting for?

I took these question from "Someday I'll get there" whose blog title seems to describe my life but who also swiped these 20 questions from Dawn's blog. Confession: I changed one question to one of my own. Find it if you care to.

1. When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? I wanted to be a ballerina. Then that changed to psychiatrist. So what did I end up being? A bureaucrat in the federal government which required some adept moves and skillful psychological assessments of the upper, middle and lower echelons. So, in a funny, way I guess I got what I wanted. BTW, I still dance!
2. What have you done in the past week to help someone else? I helped the librarian put away books. This is not as simple as you would think as the shelves are limited, more books are being added to the tightly packed shelves, so when you add one book you have to shift about 15 shelves' worth!
3. Who is the best-dressed person you know? My oldest and youngest sisters are the best dressed people I know. Altho I have a sister-in-law whose not too shabby either since she's retired her hobby farm shift!
4. What is on your nightstand? A stack of books to be given to the librarian, alarm clock, lamp, some weird but wonderful home-made Floridian pain salve that works on sore arms, Kleenex and a little flashlight.
5. If you were a cat, what kind of a cat would you be? I would try to emulate my adorable old (now deceased) cat, Dolly, who gave us so many years of laughter, pleasure and joy.
6. If you lived in a house surrounded by acres of trees, what particular type of tree would you want flourishing on your land? Now that's a hard question but right now I love the bottle bush trees down here and in Australia. The red blossoms decorate the ground in a wonderful way whilst the red "bottles" of blossoms add such cheery touches of colour to the street. I could go on and go about more trees so I'll stop now. Ok. I'd also have a few Norfolk pines.
7. What do you find to be very overrated? Television - so much of it is dreck. It's like sifting a sewer for gems. Second would be sex. It's like the outside world sends the message we are all fixated with it (likely we all are else we wouldn't reproduce) but the "sexiness" factor in advertising pushes a falseness whereas I think we should remember the wonderful intimacy good sex provides translates to love not profits.
8. How many email addresses do you have? More than I care to admit. But let's see. One for family & friends. Another for business junk. Another for fitness, physical well being. Another for my blog. Does Twitter count? I think that's it.
9. Have you ever felt replaced? Not only felt it but I was!
10. Would you rather watch football, baseball, or hockey? What a stupid question! None of the above.
11. What is the wallpaper on your phone? Are you kidding me? I'm an old lady...my cell is basic and I barely understand it enough to answer the damn thing let alone add wallpaper or text - jeez!
12. Name a lyric from the song you're listening to. "...drown in love's debris....I'll never learn to be just me first, by myself..." Carly Simon
13. Do you use a feed reader? Yup. iGoogle. Real Age.
14. What chocolate do you always leave in the box? The hard chewy ones but I'll eat even those when I'm in a sugar high.
15. Do words hurt you? Yes, on occasion but I always try to remember that it is I who chooses what to feel and oftimes the speaker did not mean it the way I took it.
16. Are you a talker or a listener? I'm both. Sometimes an excellent listener. Sometimes a non-stop talker. I try to be aware so that it's balanced as I hate being stuck in only one of those modes, myself, or with others.
17. Have you ever walked on the beach at night? Yes, in Daytona.
18. Who is your favorite professional athlete? Tiger Woods: he's such a wonderful role model for children, men and women. He's opened up golf in so many new ways. His self-discipline appears extraordinary. I know he's just a man, but his pedestal can't help but keep growing ever upwards.
19. Which TV show have you seen pretty much every episode of? Hmm. CSI.
20. Who presents the most challenges to you in life? Sometimes it's my husband, for with him, I must have patience. Sometimes, it's my daughter, for with her, I must learn to listen, not judge. Sometimes, it's with certain in-laws, as with them, I must simply accept. Sometimes, it's friends as I struggle to understand them. Mostly I am challenged by myself as my higher self expects so much while my baser self tries to wriggle away from creativity, self-expression, honesty, commitment, and self-discipline. It's always a struggle. But I do -- really I do -- try.

35th Annual Tarpon Springs Fine Art Festival

Today a dear friend advised me of an Arts Festival being held over the weekend in Tarpon Springs at Craig's Park on the Bayou. Doesn't that sound fantastic? Well, I thought so too so hubby & I careened on down there, finding a parking spot for $5, thanks the local Boy Scout Troop!

To quote the Chamber of Commerce: "This two-day festival has become one of Florida's premier juried art festivals and will feature over 240 artists from across the nation...one thing that makes this show so great is that there is something for everyone. Since this is a juried Festival, it is all fine art. Unlike many shows, much of our art, creations and jewelry are affordably priced. The venue couldn't be prettier, with the Festival wrapping around Spring Bayou and Craig Park. This is also manatee season in Tarpon Springs. Besides the crème de la crème of art, the Festival will ply you with a huge variety of food (yes, there will be kettle corn! and other strange and wondrous stuff you won't find in Canada), drinks and fabulous entertainment." www.tarponspringschamber.com

So whaddja buy, you wanna know? Well, a place like that is irrisistible to someone as weak-willed as me. But given our 39th wedding anniversary is rising over the horizon, it behooved me to plead for a few nice things: a lovely Swarofsky crystel bracelet (which I might never take off), 2 ugly but colourful fish to hang on the hot tub wall, a gift for a friend (this has to remain mysterious) AND a piece of cedar driftwood with 3 very bright red fish attached for the lanai I'll soon be renting or owning (or maybe not).

It was a very windy day which saw vendors hanging onto their tents, some in terror. I saw a very expensive work of glass in pieces at one vendor's tent. It was touch and go but everyone persisted, the gawkers showed up en masse, the music was rousing and the food and beer excellent. I'm so glad hubby was with me as there's no telling what else I would have come home with! I'll try to post pix soon.

We hurried home as the community was having a poolside picnic: free beer (who could resist?), hot dogs, hamburgers and salads! It was lovely and we socialized a lot with the many new friends we've made. The wind was still making his presence known by tossing chairs into the pool. We hope the M's of whom we're quite fond, will return again next year. It was all a little bittersweet as the coming weeks will see the snowbirds take to road and air to return to cooler climes.

Here's my ode to the Tarpon Springs Art Festival, that I may have the chance to revisit it!

White tents, white caps, all wind tossed
Tropic suggestions all painted, high gloss
Jewels, and treasures, and women agape
Men all quite bored; they dawdle, they wait
Imagination abounds, creativity too
How can so many things come in so many hues?
My eyes are like bees flitting flower to flower
How can colour, shape, glitter hold so much power
to mesmerize, tantalize, tranquilize, freeze?
Til credit cards shimmer like sin in the breeze.
And the Bayou is there to assuage your sore feet
It's waters a balm, its vistas so sweet
Come again to Craig Park and all its fine arts
Next year in the spring, when March departs.

Florida Snippets

Gators snoozing by the banks of golf ponds, unknowingly protecting the many balls golfers would love to retrieve....

A little squirrel runs up a tree by the 2nd green, out on a limb already occupied by a hawk. She stops, looks up at him. He looks at her. They're an inch apart. I'm sure there's about to be carnage. Off the limb she scampers and he lifts off. Safe for another day.

I walk by someone's lanai to retrieve my husband's golf ball and notice the entire bottom portion of her screen door is punctuated with many, many golf-ball-sized impressions. I vow not to buy a house on a golf course!

A 93 year old lady golfer in front of us makes a lovely shot then confides, as she clambers onto her cart, it's all due to her new driver which she just bought yesterday. Now that's optimism! I hope to be just like her!

The couple we play with are brother and sister, obviously enjoying each other's company. Nice to see. They're pretty good players too!

You'd think it was fall the way dead leaves accumulate by our door. I sweep them up every day, and it reminds me of home.

Geckos peek at you from everywhere: between the A/C slats, between the privacy fence slats, from under leaves as you walk down the pathway, from the lanai screen as they scuttle about for bugs. I just love these little guys! Boy, are they fast!

At night, in the hot tub, we watch toads, little ones, big ones, hop about in search of their evening meal on the cement floor near the pool. Seated in the hot tub, we observe them at eye level. So far, none has joined us (thank Heaven).

Two male mallards run up from the lake and walk deliberately to the swimming pool then stand stock still as they realize we're watching them from the hot tub. In a flurry of wings, they take off instead of jumping in the pool.

A black crow chases a hawk which has snagged in its claws something (a mouse?) hidden in a bunch of Spanish moss. It flies low in a ditch and ditches its hungry follower.

The sun seems to pool and puddle on the horizon when it finally sinks into the Gulf of Mexico. But this is my favourite part: everyone on the beach applauds.

We can't get over how nice and friendly people are to us. It's truly joyful to be here. In a parking lot, I sneeze repeatedly; a young man cruising by in his big old truck says "God bless you!"

We neet a couple whom we've admired on the dance-floor. Turns out, although they've lived most of their lives in the States, both have Canadian roots (French Canadian and Maritimer) - they can't hide their joie de vivre! Somehow I just knew it!

Our upstairs neighbour, knowing we love golf, brings us discount golf coupons snipped out of the paper. We pass on the favour and share our 4-some cheapie coupon with an astonished vacationing German couple.

Gracie and Burt introduce us to the elements of the American tango.

Vi checks in on us periodically to provide information and keep us abreast of "happenings"...wine tastings, concerts, casino trips, condos for sale, parties, and so on. She is truly a walking encyclopedia on our community (who walks twice daily, the first walk at 6:30am)!

The Lady Lakers welcome me for an interesting and challenging 9 holes at the Forest Hills golf course while the guys take hubby to Gulf Harbours for a round. A particularly watery hole gives us trouble and the 3-some ahead leave us with a hole open. The marshall chastises us but our intrepid Lorraine laughs and simply tells him to "stuff it!" Such chutzpa!

Sometimes, resourceful black crows thoroughly investigate your golfcart for food as soon as they see you on the green. They hop from the front window to the steering wheel to the seat, into the open glove box, onto the back basket then onto your clubs then fly to the next cart and repeat.

For shopaholics only

I’m not a big flaunter of people, places or things (well, OK, I guess that’s a great big lie) but: if you’re in Florida, Beall’s is THE place to shop. I love Beall’s (pronounced Bell’s). I don’t know who their ladies’ wear buyer is but this much is true: s/he is totally plugged into my style and preferences. Some people get hooked on crack – well! Beall’s is my crack. I can’t walk in without seeing something that is a must-have. If you’re interested in colours (my favourite: florals), style, variety and good prices, try shopping at Beall’s online. They also have Beall’s Outlet shoppes which are every bit as addictive! Give ‘em a go - you don't need to be in Florida to dress like a Floridian. That’s not to say that Macy’s, Dillard’s, JC Penney’s, Kohls, Bonworth’s, Sears, etc, aren’t up to par. They’re all lovely stores with lovely things. It’s just that Beall’s is my favourite.

Now if you want cheap, you should check out Ross’s. They have amazing prices but like our Winners in Canada, you have to scrounge thru the racks a bit. In all honesty, the best bargains to be had here are in the ubiquitous thrift and consignment shops. Things are dirt cheap and even then are often discounted again 50%! Want an entire wardrobe? C’mon down to the Sally Ann or the Gulf Hospice or the Sheriff's Ranches for Youth. You’ll be supporting the needy whilst indulging yourself. This is a particular life-saver for those of us whose shapes are changing (due to diet or pregnancy or other)...donate your too-big or too-little stuff and feel free to stock up on your latest size and style!

Flea markets in Florida are de rigueur stops. They carry every little thing your heart desires and then some but you have to commit to a good long stroll, constant eye rolling and neck turning. Definitely a good workout! My latest fix is the variety of magnetic bracelets, of every colour and hue. They’re gorgeous, go with every outfit AND are reputed to help with arthritis and rheumatism. I can’t vouch for that but at $1/bracelet, you can’t beat this little fashion accessory. While we’re on the subject of jewelry, you gotta try what I can the “FMB” line. Between you and me, that’s Flea Market Bling. The rings shine like no diamond I’ve ever seen, and are very moderately priced. I’ve invested in 2 lovely rings both with crystals of amazing clarity and sparkle. So far my finger has not fallen off nor turned green. Now the watch department - that’s another story. Yes, a sad one. These sellers too have watches of every colour and style, lovely stuff. But be forewarned. While they all come with a new battery, they can have problems. I found an incredible deep blue watch that I adore. Its face had a latched cover with cloisonné flowers on it but when the time change happened, it became apparent the watch hands couldn’t be moved past noon – something was wrong. I took it back to the vendor who happily replaced the mechanism on the spot! Thank you, Anna! I also found some different abstract art to adorn our bare rented walls, and will take them home when we leave. Check out our local flea market.

Now in the food department, I’m talking chains here, you can’t beat Applebee’s Restaurants. They are competitively priced – how does a shared appetizer and 2 entrées for $20 sound? What I especially like is this:
· You’re sure to meet the manager – always a good thing
· You’re sure to have a weight watcher choice
· You’re sure to have a dessert portion that, if you’re a dieter, still makes you feel like you stuck to your diet (they’re called “shooters” and they’re baby-sized desserts best shared with your best bud)
· You’re sure to have a pretty good time.

Still in the restaurant category, IHOP is also on my list. IHOP stands for International House of Pancakes. Who can resist a restaurant who, on Shrove Tuesday, aka Pancake Tuesday, opens up their doors and gives FREE pancakes albeit encouraging you to make a charitable donation? I love IHOP. They also have WiFi and great servers.

In my opinion, Cracker Barrel makes the best tea biscuits in all of Florida, but in all honesty, their layout makes for very noisy dining. So, yes, if you want a good homecooked style meal along with the cacophony of multiple very large families, go to Cracker Barrel. They do have lovely rocking chairs and it’s taking all of my shopping willpower to resist having one of their big blue ones sent up home!

There are so many chains and other privately-owned restaurants that are very deserving of mention, but the above are some of my favs for the common folk with limited incomes. You can’t go wrong. But I warn you: if you like vinegar with your French fries – forget it! No vinegar for you! We haven’t yet found a restaurant that provides vinegar. The occasional one will offer malt vinegar, yech! What I find hard to understand is an industry that daily meets the needs of millions of Canadians, most of whom ask for vinegar, they don’t get this subtle yet likely minute-by-minute reminder. Service industry my eye! Next time, maybe I’ll discuss grocery stores.

The Hunt is on

Dilemmas, dilemmas! We've narrowed our choices down to four, all in the condo community we like, and all on the 2nd floor except the last one:

• a lovely reno'd condo painted colours we love, beautiful view, new flooring, kitchen stuff, etc but not furnished. Plus it's more expensive than we'd planned. Not only is it pricey but we'd have to spring for furniture. Always nice to have your own stuff but another cost and chore. The seller's not in a hurry, therefore it's probably not that negotiable.
• a partially reno'd condo, very clean, very presentable. No water view but it would be as easy move-in. Furniture is an option. It's moderately priced and the seller is eager so it might be had for a good price.
• a dump. No view. The carpet is littered with "palmetto bugs" or what I'd plainly say are giant dead cucharachas (cockroaches) plus a dead bat in the lanai. There's no furniture (Thank God) but we'd have to sink about $20K into it (tile, new bathrooms, etc). The man who moved out left his signature on the rim of the toilet and his beer in the fridge. Disgusting but it could probably be had for a song. The only thing to like are the drapes. No idea about the seller's motivation.
• our current abode. It too could be had for a decent price with little reno needed (paint, some tile in the bathrooms) but it's on the ground floor and close to the road so it's noisy. Agent says the seller is motivated and it could be had for a cheap price. It's been "home" for the past 3 months so we're getting used to it but final word is no: not on the ground floor.

So, what to do? I'm thinking we'll try to get a good price on the nicest place and it that doesn't work, then try to get #2 and it that doesn't work, bite the bullet and try for the dump. At least we could tailor it to suit our taste from the getgo.

Hubby says "Wait one more year." And he's probably right. But. It is so very tempting!

Seduced!

Being an inveterate ad-reader, always on the lookout for a place next year in Florida, I was totally gobsmacked by one ad that read something along these lines:

2b/2b in new luxury bldg; 3 balconies overlooking the gulf,

professionally decorated; pool, spa, fitness; dock access.

$1100/m or $208K (cost price) for sale.

Always an optimist, I call and make an appointment with Dolly DeCoy (not her real name) to view this miracle. Trust me: we've seen such a variety of good and bad that our expectations are well-contained.

The building is as promised: brand, spanking new, painted floridian colours coral and turquoise (I know; sounds garish but in the Florida sun, it's quite attractive), and we note from the apartment listing, only minimally occupied. At the 2-story atrium-style entry, while we wait for Dolly to buzz us in, we admire an imposing bronze sculpture of a nymph riding two dolphins amidst a spray of water.

Dolly welcomes us; she's an older woman, blonde, very well-groomed with a very intense manner. Vivacious. Verbal diarhhea. The apartment is lovely, has a welcoming entrance, large open kitchen with a bar overlooking the dining room combo living room. One bedroom is off the living room and it is large with its own balcony and large bath including a large whirlpool tub. It's beautifully decorated. The 2nd bedroom is as large as the first; it too is impressive with a very large bath and its own balcony and spectacular view. The large screen TV dominated the living room. Dolly offers us freshly squeezed grapefruit juice in balloon wine glasses, which we sip as we wander the rooms, gape over the views from the balconies and are seduced by the rental price, the wonderfully tasteful yet upscale decor and Dolly's sparkling personality. She's selling her place at cost price altho the same one on any other floor will cost you an additional $100,000, she says.

But that's not all. She then takes us up one floor to show her "friend's" empty apartment so we "can appreciate the size." Next comes the tour of the fitness room where there is the latest equipment including TVs over the treadmills and ellipticals, and there's a sauna in both the men's and women's washrooms. She says the building is so new, she's the only one to have used it to her knowledge. We ooh and ahh then obediently follow Dolly down the hall (all the while admiring the creamy buttercup paint and crown mouldings) to the business centre, a room with a nice-sized conference room, fax, library, washroom/kitchen plus a view. We ooh and ahh and again follow Dolly into the office.

The office? Well, yes, we are trying to sell these apartments and I'd like to show you a 3 bedroom, she says, introducing us to one of the office staff who hands us a package. Our internal alarm bells are firing - have we inadvertently walked into a darn old timeshare presentation again? Will we never learn? The two ladies, Dolly and the office staffer, lead us to the 3 bedroom. It too is perfectly lovely with an even better series of view than the others as it directly faces the gulf and the harbour. The furniture and decor are beautiful. All of us can easily envisage ourselves living there. I note the most expensive of the apartments is in the $750K range!

But wait, there's more. Let me show you the pool, the hot tub, the bar-b-que's (or as she describes it: poolside cabanas with separate grills). Then the multi-purpose club room - is it possible to be more ga-ga than we already are? - with its soaring ceiling, imposing columns, baby grand player piano, media centre, bar, serving kitchen, incredible couches, chairs and heavy oak tables and plush chairs where we could easily envisage ourselves playing cards. The club room is gi-normous and leads out to a large terrace overlooking a conservation area (Dolly: I watch a cute little raccoon make his rounds every morning! So much fun, idn't it? I notice Dolly replaces her s's for d's in certain words.)

Each floor has a central gathering area beautifully furnished where residents can simply sit and chat or read the newspaper, and overlook the atrium entrance. There's lots of places where you can get away from each other, Dolly says, noting her husband likes to take off when she's vacuuming. (Funny, I can't imaging Dolly vacuuming.) She regales us with her persuasive personality, and stories from what is obviously an interesting, rich and diverse lifestyle. As I listen, my little brain is scuttling about trying to figure out at what point we can cut to the chase and either settle the matter of renting or just get the Hell out. I've had enough; we've been here 2 hours already and she's not asking the typical landlady-type questions. I find my opening; state our interest and we manage to exit with Dolly promising to call us on Sunday, as she has an interested party wanting to rent it over the summer and we could possibly have it next fall.

We discuss what we've seen. All of us are bowled over and cannot believe that anyone would rent a place like that for $11oo/month! My opinion is it's a come-on, a means for the owner to find new buyers although I'd stated from our very first contact that not only had I no interest in buying, I had not the means. My husband bluntly says he doesn't like it. We'd be out of our social element there - too many rich people. Our friends agree. Might be hard to keep up with the Joneses there, they say. But who says you have to keep up with the Joneses? I can easily envisage us in that place, no matter the social strata around us. But I can't calm those alarm bells that are shouting "Too good to be true! Too good to be true!" And you know what that means.

Stay tuned for the next phase of this particular adventure.

Conflicted

On the political spectrum, I admit I'm a little left leaning with the odd inclination to the right, and am still an innocent in the world despite what I know about the capacity of humans to destroy other humans. People I know state their concern for Canada and the influx of certain immigrants and their impact on our society. Some people I know are very anti-Muslim. Some make a distinction and say they're anti-Islam. Some state their concern that the Christian way of life is much threatened.

I believe in "live and let live." In Canada, we live in a multi-cultural society which I like and am proud of. Thanks to our open doors, I've come to know so many more people than plain old white English-speaking people like myself. I know one Muslim and was very impressed by his openness, behaviour and beliefs. He lives his own life his own way and does not impose his beliefs on me or others yet openly answers any questions I may have. I know a few Jewish people, and can say the same for them too. I know some Catholics, Protestants, aetheists, Bahai's, Lutherans, and more, and can say the same for them too. I know French, English, Polish, Italian, American, British, Cuban, Irish, Ukranian, Australian, Indian, Persian and people from more other countries...they too are the same. The majority of people I know try to live their lives and live within their own religions if they have one. There are always those who try to impose their beliefs on others but I find them everywhere and in every group. So long as they do it non-violently, that's ok by me.

It's rational to feel threatened given what happened at the twin towers and the many other horrible killing and fearful events since. I try to understand the things coming at me in the world that shake up my utopian view.

For example, Pat Condell, a comedian, is known for his rants, not necessarily funny either. I've listened to two of his rants, trying to keep an open mind. He referred in one of his rants to a short film made in 2008 called "Fitna" by Geert Wilders a Dutch MP, which is causing all kinds of controversy in his homeland, and throughout the world. Is the video hate literature or a word of warning? It seemed easy enough to view yet the pages where you view it often get closed down so forces are definitely out there that do not want it seen.

The other side of the story is this rebuttal video which point by point negates the stance taken in the Fitna video. If you've come this far in reading, I trust you'll view both videos. I also found this article entitled Wilders Shore Of Free Speech Endangered by Kenan Malik in the Australian that discusses this but from the perspective of free speech.

Islamophobia. Anti-semitism. Racism. Sexism. Ageism. Homophobia. Secularism. There's an "ism" or "phobia" out there for everyone. And they are very heated, hot topics. Where do you stand?

I wonder, had we the internet back in the 1930's, how the world would have responded to the uprising of Nazism? Would our ability to communicate so instantaneously ultimately in some miraculous way have staved off the Holocaust and saved lives? Or would we be sitting much where we are today? Endlessly discussing, writing, opining, and finger pointing but still doing nothing? What is to be done?

I pray one day we'll all be more enlightened. I pray we'll find a way to help advance those whose beliefs are antiquated, unjust, unfair and harmful to others. Yes, I'm doing it. I'm doing what causes the conflicts in the first place. I'm saying my way is better. The modern way is better. I'm falling into the same old trap everyone does (I don't want to live your way, I want to live MY way!) which is why I despair for the dear old human race.

Hating to close this on a down note, I do state I am optimistic about humanity's future and our capacity to grow and change for the better, for we have proven it over time. And every new person I meet, no matter where they're from, no matter their culture, reinforces the idea we all just want to live peaceably. If this little blog has in any way made you reflect and reconsider your own stance on "isms" and "phobias", then I feel it's been worthwhile. Peace.

PS - it's highly likely some of the above links will change in time. If so, feel free to look further on your own.

Rent or Buy?

Hubby and I have been busy checking out online real estate listings, calling realtors and owners and day by day growing more informed about the market here in the Tampa area. While it's definitely a buyer's market now, one has to weigh the costs of ownership. For example, one can buy:

• a 2bed/2bath condo for less than $50K but with annual carrying costs of approx. $5K or more
• a 2b/2b double-wide mobile for $50K or much less but again, annual carrying costs that range from $3,600 to $5K. There are parks with owner share costs which range widely (e.g., $20K to $55K then the mobile cost on top of that). There are parks where you do not own the land but lease it monthly but you can find a mobile for around $10K.
• a 2b/2b house, again similar but slightly higher carrying costs per year and more maintenance headaches.
• If you're an RV'er, you've already invested in a big mobile unit, you have cheap accommodations during your trip to/from and you typically have lower lot rental fees. But you're a little more confined spacewise, depending on your RV.

The benefits? You have invested in an area you like, where you quickly make friends and have a social network. You have a home away from home. You can buy if furnished or not, and rent it out to friends or strangers and recoup some of your annual costs. You can eventually sell it, and lose or make money depending on the market.

Or you can rent. The rents range from $800 to $1200/month typically for a 2b/2b. You may have to clean it up (not all landlords have the same sanitation standards) and even buy items not included in the inventory of furnishings. If you find a place you like, you may get lucky enough to find an owner interested in renting to you year after year so again, you've got that home away from home feeling and some landlords allow you to store items there for use next year. So your costs again are in the $3200 to $4800 range assuming you stay 4 months (not counting all the other costs of living in the sunny south). Many landlords prefer 6 months but the accepted minimum is 3 months. Again, you have freedom to move on to live in and experience other areas.

One factor affecting our decision too is the availability of reasonably priced golf for that is one of our main activities here. Word of mouth has it the further south you go, the more pricey the golf. We're in an area of modestly priced golf, hence our wanting to stay here and return next year. But Florida and other states have so much to offer, it's hard not to want to wander more broadly. The real trick is to find and book a place for next year so we don't have any nasty surprises by renting sight unseen.

We're tempted both ways but since we, as a couple, are newly retired, we plan on renting for now. We're still viewing a few places just in case that wonderful "deal" should present itself!

New Goals

I should warn you that what's about to follow is an info-mercial. I came across it par hazard as they say in French, but I love it! If you're into self-improvement like I am, you might find it interesting too. I whole-heartedly endorse this website.

Ok, ok, I'll get to the point: it's Realage.com. On it you can complete a questionnaire that will reveal your true age from a health/habits/diet/ relationships and fitness perspective. Also, once you have your results, it makes suggestions as to how and where to improve, and gives you a plan. It also offers a nutrition assessment to determine how well you are eating. If you've read enough, go there and try it for yourself. If you're curious as to how I made out, read on.

I just turned 57. According to my answers and my current state of being, my "real age" is 48.6. Now, I didn't have all the answers to all the questions asked. For example, my overall "health" was affected by my not knowing my cholesterol levels. I know I'm in the healthy category but my doc's never given me the actual numbers. I intend on getting them as it's likely that'll knock off a couple more years of "age" and I should be more aware.

In the Habits category, I could improve 2 areas. One is flossing. I admit to being a part time flosser primarily after eating corn and steak so I now resolve to floss at least once per day. Another, more expensive improvement is the car we drive as it's a small car. Staying alive longer dictates we should have a slightly large car in a silver colour as statistics indicate greater surviveability (also depending on the type of car you buy). So that improvement will have to wait until we consider buying another car!

In the relationships category, it tells me I should get a dog. Implication being, good to love another little being plus the exercise involved. I wasn't totally honest in my answer as I do regularly love and walk a dog but just not here in Florida. It further strengthens my resolve, however, to get myself to the pound to do some volunteer dogwalking while we're here in Florida! Also I should reach out more. I'm not too sure about this one as my life is full of family and friends and sometimes I'm not sure if I can fit more people in! But it does remind me to be mindful of stress and to join in more group activities. We've just joined the Y to do our regular weightlifting/cardio workouts but will add yoga and ballroom dancing (we're so forgetful we've even forgotten how to do a basic cha cha!). So that should pound that point down in a hurry!

Now "diet" is where I really fell down. Not enough vitamins (e.g., C, D, potassium, folate, omega-3, calcium), and more veggies, grains and less red meat. This is what I love about this tool: it's a wonderful reminder of what I "should" be doing, and hardens my resolve to improve while at the same time telling me what I'm doing well. Kind of like a nice teacher.

Fitness was an eye-opener as I believe I'm a pretty fit individual. Well! It told me plain and simply to lose some more weight given my BMI. Here's how to calculate your's: http://www.realage.com/WorkOutCenter/bmi.aspx Now, instead of stepping on the scales, I'm going to measure my waist instead (my waistband button just popped - talk about your indicators!). Also, as I have a low resting heart rate that is usually a good thing but it could also be bad. As mine's always low, & my doc isn't worried, I'm taking that as a good indication of my fitness. One down. It also tells me to vary my workouts and work on fitness and tone (hence the yoga signup).

In the website's Shape Up/Slim Down menu, it offers fitness & workout videos, a 20 minute workout plus yoga stretches, also a menu planner and WAIST loss tracker. I love this!

Enough of the info-mercial. I really do encourage you to check it out. Our only wealth is our health. Now that hubby & I are retired, our focus is on enjoying life to the fullest and the way to do that, I believe, is to have the mind and body able to do it because no one is giving us more time on the world clock than God and/or Fate and what we ourselves can control. I hope your results show you you're younger than you think too! And if you're not, how you can take steps to a new you.