Blah-blah-blah

To work at resolving my own listening inadequacies, I’ll relate some conversational no-no’s. I hope in addressing these, I may determine my own foibles or strategies or perspectives which in turn, may improve my listening skills or yours. I place no blame on those speakers and scenarios I describe but outline them only to better see how I can change my own reaction. If you see yourself in any description or scenario, then rest assured I too see myself there. In other words, we're all guilty!

Blah, Blah, Blah
Some people are just naturally chatty (I know I am!). They natter on about their families, their problems, their opinions, their activities. They want an audience, they don’t really want commentary, advice or solutions. They want attention. They might be nervous and just filling in the open air (some people can’t tolerate the silence that occurs occasionally). Sometimes verbalizing out loud enables them to actually figure out what is actually on their minds as we often don’t recognize an issue or problem or situation until we verbalize it.

When I encounter people like this, I just tend to listen. Who or what does it hurt? Is it that important that I speak? I make a conscious decision to listen, to actively listen. When I find it hard to listen, then I work at determining what it is that is impeding my ability to listen. Do I want to solve their problem? Have I had a similar experience? Do I know of a similar situation that might help them? Are they boring me?

Yet I try not to internalize as it inhibits my attention span. I work at this type of listening, and offer up my ears in the name of friendship and good relationships. If the blah-blah-ber is always in blubber mode, then I tend to avoid them for, in keeping with Desiderata advice: “avoid loud and aggressive spirits for they are vexatious to the spirit.”