To Dye or Not to Dye

…that is the question. As a soon-to-be 56 year old woman, I am really getting tired of societal pressure to dye my hair. What the Hell is wrong with grey? Or white for that matter?

While I was having my hair cut the other day, the hairdresser kindly suggested it was time to consider a “reverse tint” as my current colour was too “harsh” for my skin tone. I felt insulted yet tempted simultaneously! My hair is dark brown with sprinklings of grey, predominately framing my face. Personally, I like it. The grey sparkles in the light. It makes me feel good. It is, after all, Nature’s dye job. The real McCoy. But the seed was planted. I found myself wondering what I would look like with a little bit of blonde here and there. What would be people’s reactions? Maybe I’ll do it before my next holiday, I found myself thinking.

My oldest sister, a grayophobe who regularly dyes her hair, has sot so subtle ways of hinting it’s time for me to start dyeing too. “I saw Sally the other day and she was sitting beside her sister Kate and you know, Sally looked so old! She’s only a year older than Kate but Kate dyes her hair and it makes her look so much younger than Sally! I wonder why Sally doesn’t dye her hair!” Hint, hint. She goes on, “And haven you seen Travesty lately? She’s let herself go completely. Her hair is totally white! She looks like an old lady!” Big hint.

I admit a dye job can give a woman a more youthful aura but who’s that woman really kidding? There’s not a heckuvalot she can do about her wrinkles unless she’s botoxing or having cosmetic surgery done. So her face or body usually gives her “age” away anyway. Who hasn’t been fooled by a lovely looking blonde who turns around only to reveal the face of an old crony! Aghhh! What is wrong with being and looking your own age? What is wrong with being AUTHENTIC? The REAL deal? YOURSELF?

Let’s look at l’Oreal’s website because a walk down the pharmacy aisle shows they offer a world array of “colour”. L’Oreal exhorts you to discover the beautiful, exhilarating world of colour – and they’re not talking paint. The key words are mood, trends, flattering, a boost, and chasing away grey…as if it’s some kind of predator outside your door. Darlings, it’s implied: age can be a predator so be assertive: chase it away!

L’Oreal says “express the exciting inner me!” Ahhhh. Now we’re getting there. People don’t want to be their true selves; they want to project how they see themselves internally, and a dye job will do just that, along with false fingernails and a few good cosmetics.

Some say it’s simply part of being well-groomed. Does not dyeing your hair imply that you no longer care how you look? I say not. Most men do not dye their hair and opt into the “distinguished look”. Why can’t women be allowed to look “distinguished”? But let’s take a look at the stats. Science Daily says: Around the world, millions of people use hair dyes. More than one in three women over age 18 and one in ten men over age 40 throughout Europe, North America and Japan use some type of hair coloring, the researchers report, and permanent dyes account for about three-quarters of the global use.

Ahh, so here’s another can of worms. Men too are now under the dye gun! One in ten! Are men swallowing the same sales pitches as women? Just for Men is a dye product targeted, duh, just for men. Their site takes a slightly different, obviously masculine approach to promote their product: “When people see all you have to offer, good things happen. Why let gray hair get in the way? Stay in the game.” In other words, your masculinity, your success and your acceptance by other men (supposedly "good things") hinge on avoiding dastardly grey! Grey is getting in your way! Without a dye job, you’re considered too old for the football game, the hockey game or the dating game. Who knew?

The above statistical reference leads us to consider something even a little darker than your current shade of dye: apparently, there is increased risk of bladder cancer for those who use or apply permanent hair dye. These types of dye often contain chemicals called arylamines. When absorbed by your skin (hands or scalp), it’s filtered through your kidney to cleanse your blood then concentrated in your urine which sits in your bladder until expelled. So who wants an increased chance of bladder cancer just to look good? You won’t be looking too good no matter your hair colour when your bladder goes belly-up, so to speak. Do you really want hair to dye for? Maybe my title should have been “To die or not to die, that is the question.”

OK, OK. Let’s rein it in a little. You use a rinse, a non-permanent hair colour. So by all accounts you’re still OK in the health department. But what about damage to our environment? Think what you’re putting down the drain in applying this goop and then shampooing it away every week. What’s in your hair dye anyway? You likely don’t know and don’t care. If you do care, you’ll want to know in 2006 the European Commission banned 22 hair dye chemicals deemed harmful to human health. This is part of their ongoing effort to identify what hair dye substances are actually safe for human use.

So after all this ranting, do I judge others for dyeing their hair? No, I’m as susceptible to the ads as the next person. Am I going to dye my hair? I hope not although I do waver from time to time. I really do want to be authentic. I want to be the real me. I don’t want to be obsessing whether my roots are showing, or having to worry about strange chemicals on my head and in my bladder and who cares if colour is too harsh for my skin. I may be just the teensiest bit jealous when all my sisters look younger than I do but I’m willing to live with it. I want to see what I’ll really look like when my hair turns from salt and pepper to Robin Hood flour white. I hope my youthful countenance and body will make up for the snow on my roof, which after all, I have earned. I hope I live to see that.