The Ongoing Battle of the Sexes

("Listen!" continued)
Garth and Sarah (pseudonyms) are friends of mine. As Sarah and I are very verbal, and of course, women, when we get together with Garth, it often falls to him to be the almost silent (male) listener. No doubt this frustrates him, for I admit it would me, were the tables reversed.

When Garth speaks, it’s often to educate us (for instance, how to do something technical or esoteric) or to relate his perspective which he presents with authority. Garth lacks awareness of conversational “time” so although he is a good listener, he is also a long talker having no sense of how long he’s been holding the floor. So two things are happening: one is his topic; the other is his timing.

He loses listeners’ attention as he goes on too long usually on a topic that holds little interest after the initial 2 minutes. Tip to the conversationalist: monitor your listener(s). Ask yourself: Am I boring them? Have I lost them (too technical a topic, too indepth, too informative)? Have I spoken too long? Is it time to let someone else speak? There's nothing to be lost by granting another the floor.

As for the women in this “three-way” conversation, remind yourselves to be inclusive. No one likes to be left out. Remember what you learned in kindergarten: be aware and share!